In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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