people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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