Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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