If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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