Me too!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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