So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
