Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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