I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
