did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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