she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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