I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
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Randomize
