Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
