I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
