That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
