Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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