I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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