hell yes lets make some ravioli
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Dick very happy bro
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
