Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that