pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame