come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
