Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.

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(216): We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me. http://tfl.nu/rmif

Replies (15) Good night (2703) Bad night (777)
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(630): View more from Illinois

But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino

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(630): But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino http://tfl.nu/qzo5

Replies (8) Good night (784) Bad night (3075)
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(240): View more from Maryland

shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich

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(240): shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich http://tfl.nu/bipz

Replies (78) Good night (2556) Bad night (1092)
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(419): View more from Ohio

i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.

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(419): i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it. http://tfl.nu/1l7g

Replies (16) Good night (3456) Bad night (632)
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(517): View more from Michigan

My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX

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(517): My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX http://tfl.nu/rv1c

Replies (23) Good night (1196) Bad night (6336)
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(315): View more from New York

There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy

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(315): There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy http://tfl.nu/q2vq

Replies (6) Good night (2139) Bad night (3597)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom

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(860): at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/ajul

Replies (3) Good night (1997) Bad night (659)
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(850): View more from Florida

I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.

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(850): I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs. http://tfl.nu/p0c7

Replies (11) Good night (2046) Bad night (818)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!

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(314): Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo! http://tfl.nu/csd8

Replies (2) Good night (1552) Bad night (679)
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(650): View more from California

My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.

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(650): My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me. http://tfl.nu/zst4

Replies (2) Good night (1510) Bad night (603)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho

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(978): I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho http://tfl.nu/p9zq

Replies (4) Good night (424) Bad night (440)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.

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(815): I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle. http://tfl.nu/d26w

Replies (0) Good night (443) Bad night (284)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise

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(973): You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise http://tfl.nu/rwe2

Replies (1) Good night (996) Bad night (349)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record

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(614): I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record http://tfl.nu/iop1

Replies (3) Good night (684) Bad night (428)
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(906): View more from Michigan

Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.

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(906): Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river. http://tfl.nu/kdjr

Replies (0) Good night (245) Bad night (375)

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