Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with

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  (240): A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with http://tfl.nu/1e7c
  Replies (2) Good night (1621) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.

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  (510): I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress. http://tfl.nu/szsa
  Replies (75) Good night (2186) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism

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  (724): yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism http://tfl.nu/kj7t
  Replies (28) Good night (4447) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?

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  (870): Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits? http://tfl.nu/zxqx
  Replies (39) Good night (2326) Bad night (3109)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.

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  (571): I seriously fake cumming more than i poop. http://tfl.nu/kwns
  Replies (33) Good night (701) Bad night (5546)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.

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  (314): I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time. http://tfl.nu/5nj6
  Replies (28) Good night (1686) Bad night (3740)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first

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  (937): I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first http://tfl.nu/2voj
  Replies (13) Good night (2476) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.

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  (443): Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest. http://tfl.nu/68lv
  Replies (22) Good night (5393) Bad night (3263)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I feel like my teeth are sweating.

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  (970): I feel like my teeth are sweating. http://tfl.nu/98tq
  Replies (9) Good night (1133) Bad night (2078)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us

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  (715): You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us http://tfl.nu/z8w6
  Replies (9) Good night (3206) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.

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  (412): He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with. http://tfl.nu/33qn
  Replies (8) Good night (3116) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.

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  (978): Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you. http://tfl.nu/qush
  Replies (4) Good night (1068) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"

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  (315): That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty" http://tfl.nu/cos5
  Replies (14) Good night (1280) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.

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  (618): Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose. http://tfl.nu/98w1
  Replies (2) Good night (951) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.

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  (260): I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then. http://tfl.nu/hywk
  Replies (3) Good night (393) Bad night (463)

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