i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.