Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
