ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
