dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
