i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Is Oprah even human
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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