I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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