we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I want to have your abortion
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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