So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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