She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
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okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
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Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.