So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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