i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.