Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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