Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
