I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
