AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
