were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Girls should come with a carfax report
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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