1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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