no, he came in my armpit
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
