You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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