y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
