her vagina looked like bernie madoff
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
