yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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