You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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