I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She announced her abortion via fbk
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
