i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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