Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
