Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize