My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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