Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
