i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize