no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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