I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
