Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
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Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
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I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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