well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
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Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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