never play flip cup with pint glasses
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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