i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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