she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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