Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
