How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
