Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The air taste purple.
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