Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
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just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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