From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
