yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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