Porn is love you can see.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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