12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
