I think I died a long time ago.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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