Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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