I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
