then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
