I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize