he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm too high and old for this...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
