Fuck appropriateness.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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