Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
